Understanding Codependent Relationships And The Drama Triangle

Understanding Codependent Relationships And The Drama Triangle

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Understanding the drama triangle,
now if you’ve not seen the drama triangle also known as the Karpman drama, after Stephen Karpman originally made it, it’s so powerful beyond
measure basically covers three codependent personality styles which
are in toxic behaviour of controlling each other. Now at times we all drift into
these personality types sometimes without realizing it when people feel
they are under pressure they can start to turn into either one of these
personality styles or all of them or one after the other as you’ll see when we go
further into this video so stay tuned Hello and welcome this is Paul Ryder from Mind Islands and I’m really really excited to share with you this knowledge
if you’ve not seen the drama triangle yet because it’s so powerful beyond
words the such a simple concept it’s a triangle with three different
personalities on it when you see how powerful it is and when you start seeing
it in real life if you’ve not seen this before you know exactly what I mean. So
the drama triangle is as follows you got three codependent personality types now
codependence just means people either working together and keeping each other
stuck now that’s very different from interdependence people working
interdependently means that they’re working towards something and it’s about
growth. Codependence means that they’re clinging to each other and sometimes it
can be very limited. These three personality types are negatively
codependent on each other. So the three personality types of the drama triangle
are as follows you’ve got the victim which is that the bottom of the pack as
it were. You’ve got the persecutor or otherwise known as the bully and you’ve
got the rescuer and all of these three work together. Now
what happens is the victim cannot be a victim now I make a lot of other videos
about this about the victim personality who wants all the attention on
themselves by not taking responsibility it’s that key you can only be a victim
if you’re not taking responsibility, some people don’t realize they’re not taking
responsibility and some people do realize they’re not taking
responsibility and want to stay stuck but there’s a lot to talk about in this
video so I’m going to keep it quite brief, so a victim cannot be a victim
without a bully or a persecutor okay so a victim needs a tragedy to happen to
them so they can say poor me I’m really struggling. So a persecutor a bully could
be anything in their life it could be a parent it could be a partner it could be
their job it could be their money it could be their health it could be
anything. So the victim can say poor me my health’s not good
poor me my boss is always having you go at me, poor me I didn’t have the right
parents poorly I haven’t got the right clothes my hair is thinning whatever it
could be okay so the victim is looking for something to blame for their
situation. Now the persecutor personality is somebody who is struggling and wants
to control this is another form of narcissism if you will it’s somebody who
wants to project their anger and their venom and you can see now that the
persecutor of the bully and the victim a very codependent because you can’t have
a bully without having a victim and you can’t have a victim without having a
bully. So these are codependenly linked together and they’re actually playing
their roles out perfectly don’t actually sometimes want to change. This brings
us into the third personality here which is the rescuer now the rescuer sits in
as the innocent person who just wants to help mediate the situation but actually
the rescuer personality is very toxic although they don’t appear to be. The
rescuer is actually an enabler. So the rescuer will go up to the victim and say
everything’s really hard isn’t it it must be such a struggle for you, here let
me help you because subliminally saying you can’t do it
yourself. Thereby keeping the victim in a victim
state and the victim goes I actually am too weak to be able to
deal with this and I can’t do it. And also the rescuer might go to the
bully and say you’re a bad person you should not be doing this because of what
you’ve done to that poor little victim thereby sometimes exasperatingly a
persecutor into going to rage and attacking the victim more which, if you
understand the rescuer needs a victim so if the rescuer antagonizes the bully
that makes the bully attack the victim the victim gets even weaker the rescuers
got a job okay So the rescuer can sometimes be the
bully see how complicated this can get the rescuer can sometimes be the bully
and the victim can sometimes be the bully because the victim might say
you’re such a mean person to me poor me which is actually attacking another
person so you can see how toxic this situation is just literally as an
overview what it suggests as I’m just giving you a review on this video but it
suggests is doing a lot more research on this. Remember the victim personality is
the one that plays the poorly that everything else is going wrong that
everything that’s going wrong is the bully personality so the victim needs
our bully to attack them or persecutor so they can play the victim the
persecutor cannot play the persecutor without a victim and the rescuer cannot
play the rescuer role without a bully and a victim. So again I know it sounds
really complicated look on the images google it and look on the images of the
drama triangle and you’ll see how it all fits together. Do a lot of research on this you’ll see this everywhere you’ll see in yourself it’s
in all of us every single human being at times will go into victim bully
persecutor or rescue at any time and that happens when we feel insecure about
ourselves. If anytime we feel really overwhelmed and we saw it stomping our
feet or a shouting we are being a victim or every time we blame somebody so if we are in a car and shouting at somebody we are being the persecutor or if we want
somebody to actually be the victim so we can have a role in our lives so we can
rescue somebody we’re being the rescuer but also an enabler. So my aim for this
video is actually to chuck lots of things at you to try and confuse you a little
bit in the way that a confused mind is always looking for further information. So write down the drama triangle sit with it with friends and then ask
yourself how often do you see these do you go into these personality traits
yourself? And then a good fun thing to do is go out into society, maybe into a
coffee shop something like that and start watching different people and how
they act with each other and see how many of the personalities you can spot. Make it fun ,have a bit of fun with it and it’s good thing to do with friends
so you can grow and watch different personality styles. So hope this videos
of immense help if you’ve got any questions or feedback put them in the
comments below and if you want to click subscribe click subscribe like the video. My name is Paul Ryder from Mind Islands Go and have yourself an enjoyable drama
triangle at spotting experience

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