(techno music) (man sniffles) – Are you okay?
– Uh, yeah. – What’s wrong? – I’m watching It’s a Wonderful
Life, it always get me. – Oh, I love Christmas movies! – Oh god, me too, “Christmas Story,”
“Miracle on 34th Street,” “Elf” for god sakes.
– Oh my god I love Elf. – Oh.
(scoffing chuckles) – Tao, what’s up, what’s the problem? – You guys wanna know what my
favorite Christmas movie is? – “Love Actually”? – “The Santa Clause” with
(grunting) Tim Allen? – No, I don’t like any of those
lame (bleep) family movies. My favorite Christmas movie is “Die Hard,” which is technically a Christmas movie. – You’re one of those.
– Nah, people love saying that,
but it’s not, you know, a Christmas movie, it’s
not a family movie. – John McClane has a family. – You know what we mean. – What, prove me wrong. – Okay, if you’re gonna
be a weird jerk about it. I guess I’d say that a
Christmas movie has to have the theme of family, or
communities coming together, and it has to take place around Christmas. – All right, if “Die Hard” doesn’t count, then my favorite Christmas
movie is “Eyes Wide Shut.” – Oh my god.
– Perfect answer. – You know that’s not what we mean. – Look, “Eyes Wide Shut” is a great movie, but it is not a Christmas movie. – What, why not? Tom Cruise is watching
people bang on Christmas. There’s a Christmas tree in
almost every single shot, and at the end, after all the orgies, he’s finally connected to his family. – What do you want right now? What do you want my reaction to be? – What, I’m just saying? – The movie isn’t a Christmas movie. It’s not a feel-good family
classic Christmas movie, it’s a feel-horny, freaky,
nasty person movie. You wouldn’t sit down
with your grandmother and watch that film. – Okay, fine then, whatever. My favorite Christmas movie
then is the first three episodes of Ken Burns’s “Civil War,”
– Okay. – which my father made us watch every single Christmas
day, without any breaks. He’d stare at that screen
and every 10 minutes, he’d say, “Damn, this
country is messed up.” – That’s actually really sad.
– Checkmate. – Tao, what are you trying to prove? – What, that’s just my X-mas.
– Shut up. – All right, that’s fine, we’ll just put up my
Christmas decorations. – Ooh.
– Ah, now this actually I really like, he’s got the festive bow on there. And what’s that, a picture of your family? – No, it’s actually hundreds of families. This is UTAGE flight 141,
it’s an international flight that crashed on Christmas
Day, killing over 140 people. (bleep) It’s a Christmas photo. – That is so morbid. – I’m done talking to you. – Please don’t speak to me anymore. – Okay.
(keystrokes clicking) You guys listening to Christmas music? My favorite X-mas song is “Please Daddy, Don’t Get
Drunk this Christmas” by John Denver, king of Christmas himself. It’s great, it’s festive,
it’s got a really good melody. What, what?
(grunting) I’m just, I’m just.
(grunting) – [Man In Glasses] I love Christmas. – Hey it’s Tao, if you like College Humor and want to support us,
sign up for Dropout. For the low price of
a small bag of catnip, you’ll get videos like
this a whole week sooner, to chat with us live on Dropout discord, and get exclusive content
like Dimension 20. – There are no stupid Christians. – Are you my freaking dad? (laughing) – Sign up for your free trial
today, unless you hate fun, which if you do, come
to my party on Saturday, it won’t be fun at all.