In this video we’re going to talk about tone of voice and how your tone shapes the rest of your communication. So let’s get into the details. Welcome back. I’m Alex Lyon and this channel, Communication Coach is here to help you become a better leader and part of leadership is communication part of communication is tone of voice. Your tone communicates a lot more than you realized. So let’s define it and then we’ll talk about some practical applications and details. First of all your tone of voice is the musical notes that your voice communicates separated from your words. That’s my own little definition but your tone, your intonation is really the sound of the voice as if you were to chart it out in music. When I was a young kid I used to hear my parents talking through the walls at night and I couldn’t hear their words but I could hear their tone. My dad has a very low tone of voice. He’s like DJ on the radio he has a baritone or even a bass voice so he talks like this through the walls. Buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh, like a tuba. Can’t hear the words but you can hear him playing that tuba. buh buh buh buh buh buh. And then my mother has a higher voice like a little clarinet. So she would respond no no no no no no no. and I would hear them going back and forth bah bah bah bah bah bah bah no no no no no no no and having this conversation that sounded like two instruments communicating in a call-and-response. Thats tone of voice, the musical sounds and you may know people for example that have what you might call a singsongy voice. They have lots of variety in their tone when they’re communicating. And when we say tone of voice in an academic sense that’s what we mean. But in an everyday conversation in a professional setting if someone says their tone they generally mean much more than that. Essentially they mean any other kinds of vocal nonverbal cues that the person is giving off so their their pacing their volume their emphasis their pauses. We’re hearing all of that and we’re saying that’s their tone of voice because it’s very hard isolate, in an everyday situation only be musical sound to their voice. We’re hearing all of those nonverbal vocal cues together and in fact when I’m hearing my parents speak through the wall, I am absolutely hearing their tone but I’m also hearing their volume I’m hearing their pacing their pauses and I can tell if they’re having a pleasant conversation and or a not so pleasant conversation as parents sometimes have. Because the overall sound of their voice is what I’m hearing even though I cannot hear the words. So when we say tone, we generally mean all of those vocal cues combined and collapsed into one. So this kind of communication has a lot of influence on the way we’re hearing people’s overall message. It adds shades of meaning, adds emotion, it adds attitude to what we are hearing. And we’re often more likely to believe the person’s nonverbal cues than we are the actual words. So if you ask me how I’m doing and I said I’m fine, well obviously I’m not fine even though the text says I’m fine if you look at the transcript. My nonverbal communication my tone of voice says I am NOT fine. And there’s a sentence on the internet that’s only seven words that I’ve been seeing all over the place when you look at tone of voice and so forth that I want to share with you. It has only seven words but depending upon how you emphasize those words the meaning of these sentence changes. So here it is in the basic sense. I’ll just say it’s straight one time. I never said she stole the money. I tried not to emphasize anything there and now I’ll do it where I repeat it but I emphasize different parts of the sentence each time and notice how it changes the meaning. I never said she stole the money. I never said she stole the money. I never said she stole the money. I never said she stole the money. I never said she stole the money. I never said she stole the money. So I’m hitting those words every time I say the sentence little differently and you can hear that it changes the meaning almost completely. Our vocal cues added to our words our overall tone of voice shapes the way we are hearing it. And you’ll notice it’s very hard to separate tone from other things. So I was emphasizing those words one at a time but in each case my voice my tonality went up on the key word but so did my volume. I slowed down. I emphasized, my pacing changed right there. All of those nonverbal vocal cues are combined when we are generally talking about tone of voice. Now let’s step back even further and talk about how our other nonverbal cues also influence what people are getting from us. They might see visual cues as well and that those visual nonverbal cues also emphasize what we’re saying and change the attitude and the emotion. So I might be rolling my eyes when I say this. I might be making a face when I say this. I might be pushing back from my desk or gesturing with my hands non-verbally. And when I say this and all of those nonverbal visual cues add another layer to how people are receiving our tone. And in fact I worked with a guy many years ago that certainly had a tone of voice issue. It sounded very rude and very disrespectful even though he never said anything technically rude. He had the attitude in his voice but he was also rolling his eyes and gesturing when people other people were speaking and a lot of times people would just say to him all your tone of voice. It’s your tone of voice but I when I saw him communicate, it was a heck of a lot more than just his tone. It was all of those nonverbal cues all packaged into one kind of bad attitude and disrespectful attitude he was communicating. So we’re hearing tone of voice but we’re seeing the person generally as well and that adds to that nonverbal communication that we are receiving. A couple of checks. First of all, I would like you to do some practical application here. What kind of tone of voice do you give off? How do you sound? You might want to ask somebody that you know and trust and you know loves you and is not going to judge you. Like if you were me, I would ask my wife because she’ll be honest. Hey, honey what kind of tone of voice do I generally have? Maybe you have a frustrated tone of voice. Maybe you have an angry tone of voice. Maybe you have a warm welcoming tone of voice. I don’t know what it is. Ask somebody. Second check for your practical application. Ask yourself. What does this communicate to the people around me? If I hear someone with a frustrated tone, I’m not assuming oh they are frustrated with themselves. If someone’s speaking to me in a frustrated tone, I’m assuming they’re frustrated with me. As an emerging leader, as somebody in a professional setting, what does your tone communicate to the people around you? What does it say to them? You want to make sure you’re sending off the right nonverbals to accompany your words. So I’d look forward to hearing your comments to those questions, your responses to those questions in the section below the video. I read almost all those comments and I respond to almost every one as well. I look forward to taking a look at what you have to offer in that comment section below the video. So thanks. God bless and I will see you next time. Hello again. I hope you found that video on tone of voice helpful. I wanted to invite you to download a Free Quick Guide to Essential Professional communication Skills. You can find the link to that resource in the description below the video.